Conner the cat (the end)

Conner breathed heavily, supporting his back on a large wall. After managing to hide behind the smelly, revolting and gruesome bins with flies hovering above and making sure that everyone was out of sight, Conner didn’t miss a chance to rest. After all the weird happenings of the night, all Conner wanted to do was slump down and fall into the wonderful black hole of sleep, and dream about mice floating around his head. But Conner knew that there was no time to sleep. It was time for action, time to prove to the cat world that he was innocent. So, using all his might, he heaved himself up and started thinking of a plan.

Meanwhile, in the dirty house of Trevor, Pip, Kim and Limmy, the four disgusting cats were howling with malicious laughter. The television reporter, a pretty snowy white cat with light blue eyes was now talking about the breaking news, which was about Conner’s rude speech and that now he was in hiding and that police cats were all over the place looking for him. “Sweet, sweet revenge,” sighed Trevor happily, as he ripped open another out of date crisp packet and poured mouldy cheese and onion crisps in his mouth.

The sports news was coming up, and as the four cats laughed at people, sorry, I mean CATS falling and bumping their heads in sports like wrestling, Conner was taking a bath with a water fountain and a scrub somebody had left in the bin (Conner had washed it very thoroughly with the water fountain before he began to scrub himself). Yes, I know what you’re probably thinking right now, that you thought Conner was planning an epic plan to prove him innocent, and act all heroic, and that taking a bath wasn’t very epic or heroic. But this was the most important part of his plan, and as Conner rinsed himself once more with a water fountain, there was no longer a sleek, shiny cat with long whiskers and a smart bow tie. Where that cat once stood several minutes ago, was a skinny cat with jet black hair and bright blue eyes. Conner’s old self was back, and I hope you are as happy as I am to see him, because let me tell you a secret, I didn’t really like Conner when he was all dressed up and made up. I thought he was a bit big-headed and all. Like me, Conner was also secretly pleased to be his old self again, mostly as the makeup on him was starting to itch terribly.

Anyway, while Conner was putting the rest of his plan into action, Trevor had a funny feeling something was wrong. Which was weird, seeing as his favourite show when cat celebrities get embarrassed was on, and he was sitting on the comfiest spot on the rotten sofa. But he knew something was wrong, because is left arm hairs were tingling, and once he had been careless enough not to listen and ended up with a burned patch on his hand. Trevor twisted around uncomfortably, supposing that it was the wind, but even when he closed the window shut and turned on the heating, the hairs on his left arm were tingling harder than ever, as if they were fish desperate to wiggle out of a net. I would want to wiggle out of Trevor’s disgusting arm if I was unfortunate enough to end up as one of his arm hairs, but the point was that Trevor was freaking out, because there was only one time when his left arm hairs tingled that hard, and that was when he was in a major crisis.

He suddenly thought about his mum, but quickly pushed that thought away as he turned around and said in a grave voice to his crew, “Boys, we have a huge problem.” Pip, Limmy and Kim exchanged fearful looks at each other, then Pip asked in a quivery voice, “What is the big problem?” “I don’t know!” said Trevor in an irritated voice. “That’s the problem. I know that there is a huge problem because my left arm hairs are tingling, I just don’t know what exactly the problem is!” when none of the cats said anything, Trevor continued. “Just do as I say, and we will solve this big problem in no time.” so, on Trevor’s orders, the four cats went out on to the empty streets. “What now?” asked Kim, looking around. Trevor thought and thought, but nothing came to his mind except for prawn cocktail flavoured crisps, probably because his tummy was rumbling very loudly indeed. You see, the problem with trying to solve a big problem without knowing what the problem is was that try as you might, you don’t know what to do, and then after a few seconds you start thinking about food. Anyway, whilst Trevor was thinking, a skinny black cat with other black cats were walking towards him. Trevor was so immersed in his thoughts that a girl black cat sneaked behind him, then said in a very loud voice, “BOO!” right in his ear. “AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGG!!!!!” Trevor screamed, jumping up like he’d been struck by electricity. There was a silence, before everybody started to laugh loudly. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” “This is so definitely going to make 10 Million likes on Mew Tube!” said another girl cat with glittery eye shadow who had been videoing the scene the whole time. Trevor stood up, fuming. “This is NOT the time for games!” he bellowed at Pip, Kim and Limmy, who hastily stopped laughing and stood beside Trevor, looking grim. “And you!” he shouted, turning around to face the black cats. “Go back to the sewers where you BELONG! I have some important work to do,” and with that, he walked away, Pip Kim and Limmy at his heels.

After a few seconds, the skinniest black cat said quietly, “I don’t live in the sewers. I actually live in a mansion you know.” Trevor turned around, before bursting into fits of laughter. “You really think, really think that I’d believe that!” he spluttered, spit flying everywhere. “I mean, look at you! You’re as thin as a pin, your fur is all scruffy, and you smell!” he said incredulously. “Surely if you’re rich enough to buy a mansion then at least you could’ve had baths and enough food!” “First of all, no matter how much food I eat I will always be thin and scruffy,” the skinny black cat said, before turning around and nodding at four boy cats, who cracked their knuckles menacingly. “And second of all,” he said, smiling slightly, “I am Conner, the cat who is 100% innocent and who is blamed for YOUR crime!” the second the words came out of his mouth the four boy cats lunged at Trevor and his crew, holding them back. “YOU used your computer skills to insert a video of a hairy cat with my head on saying BAD stuff about the environment so that the cats would hate me. My sister claims she saw you clicking a button to change what was on the big screen. And when we went to the studio of the stage, we found THIS!” he exclaimed, brandishing a small piece of black cat fur. There was a silence, in when Trevor digested in all the things Conner had just said. Then, slowly, a smile came to his lips. “Proof. In all of this, you forgot the most important thing. Proof. Your sister, the one who had witnessed this scene might be seeing things for all we know. And that,” he pointed at the piece of black fur in Conner’s hand. “Can be anyone’s fur for catness sake. Why, it might even be yours,” he finished with a triumphant look.

Conner wanted to slap himself. Why, WHY in all the things he had done had he forgotten about bringing evidence that actually proved Trevor’s crime. He deflated. Now, the cat world will always know him as a criminal, a bad cat, a- “Proof? We got proof,” said the glittery eyeshadow girl cat, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and smoothing it out. It was a picture of Trevor pressing a red button and the screen changing to the video. “Make sure you think before saying that I am just SEEING things, because I ALWAYS take pictures of things I think are fishy,” she narrowed her eyes at Trevor. “And YOU certainly are.” By the way, if you are wondering who these cats were (apart from Conner) they are, of course, Conner’s brothers and sisters, who were helping Conner after he’d told them that he was absolutely DIDN’T have magical powers to make his face beautiful, and that it was just makeup. Anyway, Trevor managed to slip past the big cats arms and run away, shouting, “EVEN IF YOU DO HAVE THE EVIDENCE OF MY BAD DOINGS, YOU WON’T EVER SEE ME AGAIN! GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE!” “Too late,” muttered Conner under his breath. As soon as they could, Conner and his brothers and sisters had phoned the cat police, and sure enough, sirens were blaring as Trevor was surrounded by angry cat police. After everything was explained, one of the police laughed and took hold of Trevor. “What did you think, that if you did this you would be a STAR? Well, doing this just makes you a criminal, laddie.”

Suddenly, flashbacks of his mum came back to Trevor in a whirl, his mum softly kissing him on the cheek and saying softly, “You are going to be a STAR when you grow up, my little Trev,” his mum being captured kicking and screaming by masked criminals with heavily armed tattoos, and as Trevor looked down at his own tattooed arms, he couldn’t help thinking that through all of his hard work for his mum to fulfil her dream for him to become a star, had he turned into a criminal? A criminal like the ones that had taken his beloved mum away. A wobbly feeling started to overcome Trevor, as he thought of all those precious seconds with his mum, him and her baking tarts in the kitchen, reading stories on the sofa, and even though the tarts got burned and all Trevor’s pronunciations were all wrong, they just laughed, because all that mattered was that they were together. Tears streamed down Trevor’s face as he said “Take me to prison. I deserve it. And you don’t need to take them,” he pointed his finger at Pip, Kim and Limmy. “Their only involved in this because I told them to.” Then he turned to Conner. “I’m sorry. For all of it. All the trouble I caused you.” And then he was led away into the police car with tears still silently pouring down his face. “Well,” said Conner, turning around to face his family (Pip, Kim and Limmy had scarpered when they could) “I think this calls for fish burgers and chips at MewDonalds!” everybody cheered, and that’s where we leave them before we travel to the future. You might be thinking: how on earth can we even travel to the future? Well, its easy, seeing as this is a book and when books are involved you can do anything. All you have to do is close your eyes, make high pitched beeping noises, run in circles 3 times and then carry on reading this book.

THE FUTURE

(only for people who have done the instructions above)

After 6 months of jail, Trevor turned into a nice, friendly ice-cream cat. And he did become famous if you counted children. Pip, Kim and Limmy fulfilled their dreams into becoming prima ballerinas performing Cat Lake and The Catcracker. And last of all, Conner stayed himself and became a makeup artist (he did have a talent for making makeup on people’s faces look like natural beauty after all!). So yeah, that is the ultimate story of Conner, the skinny cat with jet black fur and a charming life.

THE END