It was Conner’s biggest night yet. Right now, every single cat in the world was going to see him strike a pose, smile grandly and sign autographs. The ticket stand was now so crowded, the officer couldn’t see himself. “Ladies, gentlemen, will you all please get in a straight line! I’ve got tickets for everyone you know!” said the poor officer, now horribly squashed. But the crowd just ignored him and kept on yelling for a ticket. It was an hour before everybody managed to get a seat in the stadium, and the poor officer slumped to the ground, tired out. But in the stadium, the noise was deafening. There were exited chatters as the curtains rose, and there stepped out, the one and only Conner! There was gigantic applause. Conner bowed here and there, loving life.

Four gruff cats appeared at the ticket stand. “Tickets, please.” Said one of them. The poor officer went on his feet, and gave Trevor, Pip, Kim and Limmy each a ticket. Then he took the change and collapsed back on the ground. When they walked in [ the four cats], they saw how crowded it was. Pain filled all their hearts as they saw how many people had come just to get a glimpse of Conner. But their faces soon became sniggers, because they were sure Conner was the one who was going to suffer after what they were going to do. So, they sat on their seats, and waited impatiently for Conner to start speaking. “Oh, bless you all,” Conner said fondly to his audience. “coming here just to see me” “Mr photographer!” he added in a much clearer voice. “take my picture and make sure it goes on the front page of the daily mew!” he exclaimed. The Photographer, a dirty cat with an enormous belly who really was called photographer, waddled over eagerly to where Conner stood and started to take unprofessional pictures of him. All of them were either lopsided or blurry, but if you want to know how on earth the photographer got his job, go ahead and buy his Mum’s book, Sam Photographer, a brief history of why and where he got his job. I read it myself, and it was good, totally worth it for 2 million pounds.

Anyway, Trevor must have thought it was time, so he whispered something to his friends and pressed a red button from a remote that he had smuggled in all along. Whilst he did it, he thought he heard a faint clicking sound, but didn’t take notice of it. At once, the big screen behind Conner that flashed the words CONNER IS THE BEST vanished, and it was replaced with a body of a hairy cat. Now you might notice that I only said the body. The head had unmistakably Conner’s face, his bright blue eyes glowering at the audience. With his not so extraordinary computer skills, Trevor had hacked into the stages big screen and replaced it with a Mew tube video he’d found about a hairy cat who said a bunch of things. Then after he realized a cat shouting a bunch of stuff wouldn’t make people hate Conner, he replaced the hairy cat’s head with Conner’s own head and pressed a bunch of buttons that would change what the cat was saying. If it all went to plan, the head of Conner would say nasty comments about the environment, and if you didn’t know, cats hate it when you talk about hating the environment. But if it didn’t go to Trevor’s devilish plan, the head of Conner would just say some things about butterflies and make the audience, including Trevor and his crew dreamy about chasing butterflies. Unluckily for us, Trevor’s plan worked. The audience stared open-mouthed at the big screen as they saw their hero say more and more despicable things. On the stage, Conner was………………. well, amazed. He had remembered quite correctly that he had never said anything bad about the environment, but then what was he hearing now? Nasty words about the environment tumbling out from HIS own mouth. When the video ended, there was an intense silence. Then, breaking it, there was a splat as a rotten tomato landed fair and square on Conner’s nose. Then there was another splat as an out of date banana got hurled at Conner’s feet. Soon there were flying fruits everywhere, and now it was safe to say that Conner had officially became a half-cat half-fruit and vegetable monster with a spot of soup. Trevor and the rest of his crew were now cackling with laughter. The audience, luckily for Conner, had run out of things to throw, so Trevor pulled a beetroot with something growing out of it that he had tried to ignore, and then hurled it at Conner. Except there was no Conner. A moment’s hesitation from the audience was enough for him to escape. Panting, Conner looked back to see if there was anyone following him. There was nothing but an eerie silence.

And then it came. There was a loud rumble, and the source of it was 3 million cats running out of the stadium, straight at CONNER. And they were looking angry. Conner yelped, and then ran as fast as he could away from the stampede. “GET HIM!”, roared an old cat, who seemed to lead the cats, and at his word, all the cats began to run faster than before, roaring with rage. Conner gave a scream of pure terror then ran and ran as fast as he could.

To be continued…

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